What Are You Feeding them?

You know the saying “I know you heard me, but are you listening though?”?

If so, you may understand this next statement:

“Just because you are feeding them that doesn’t mean you are FEEDING them." That’s what The Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart today as I put away groceries and reflected on a conversation I had with my husband a couple of days ago.

I recently returned home from a week-long vacation in which my husband was left home to care for the children, great job if I might add. I know that he did not feed them the way that I would have fed them, but they did not die!

The night I returned to my very own comfortable king bed beside my man, we stayed up talking about the previous week and he took me by surprise with something he said. He explained to me how he was eating so much fruit and less dessert while I was away, and my first response was “don’t blame me!” simultaneously in my mind coming to the realization that the sweet tooth my family has actually was my fault—because I love me a good snack not to mention I do all of the shopping!

Can you imagine the experience of being a woman who dedicates her time and energy to cooking for her family every single day, while God gently asks, “But are they really fed?” I often convince myself that by limiting junk food along with refraining from serving processed options, I am providing them with a wholesome and healthy diet. However, I would be deceiving myself if I claimed that is entirely the truth.

You see, we eat the common meals of black families and that includes a lot of “soul food” with fried options or food smothered in sauces and gravies even the vegetables and let’s be honest, though it tastes great it’s not very nourishing to our bodies so as I was preparing for a month of clean eating, I thought to myself “what if my family doesn’t like the food I make?”

I had already discussed and came into agreement with my husband about the change. I got his blessing to switch up our menu and because its wasn’t the first time I thought about every other time I proposed “clean” eating. My husband agreed, and not to say that my husband agrees with everything I say but as the thought “They are going to eat what I give them!” crossed my mind so did the flashing light bulb.

(Before I really dive in, let me just say this is no attack on any woman and what she chooses to do in her house, but I wouldn't be me if I did not preach to what is revealed to me through The Holy Spirit.)

WHAT WE NORMALIZE IN OUR HOUSE, IS WHAT WILL BE THE NORM IN OUR HOUSE!

Ladies, I’m talking about much more than just a diet here! As women we are the ones who MAKE our home. We create the menu, the rules, the atmosphere and the routines. We are the managers in our home. I did not always understand that.

So, as with all things I just sat in my thoughts as I put away the food. I let the spirit minister to me and God took me back, again to that conversation I had with my husband. We talked about our growth as individuals and as a married couple. We expressed gratitude in everything from God’s grace even down to the revelations that we had both received in prayer, during our hardships and now, that led to the changes we acknowledged that night.

My husband kept talking about my energy and how effective it is, how it helped him and how much it carries this family, and all I kept thinking was how different it was not too long ago. When I was battling depression, insecurities, anxiety unhealed trauma… our household was full of darkness and toxicity. I had to think back not only to what I cooked for my family but also the malnourishment my family was receiving from me not being my best self—Praise Break! Man, things have totally shifted since God saved me.

Now that I am in a place where I can take accountability as a woman I can sit back and reflect on the “eggshells” the fights that could have been avoided, the attitudes and burned bridges. I can sit here and tell you, THAT is what I fed my family. Everyone around me tried their best to continue to flourish and be great but my lack held them back spiritually.

It wasn’t until I found healing, that they found healing. It wasn’t until I learned how to manage my emotions, that they learned how to manage their emotions, it wasn’t until my spirit was cleansed that the atmosphere changed. When I learned how to talk about it from chaos to peace. It wasn’t until I stopped crushing, mixing and serving up all of my demons that I started to truly feed my family.

For the month of April, as I challenge myself to physically, mentally and spiritually feed my family with love and Godliness, I pose this question to you the way in the same way that God did to me: What are you feeding your family?

Just as the bible says that as for me in my house, we will serve the lord, children under your roof do not decide what they will and will not do, what they “don’t eat”, rules they will not follow and abide by. We decide

We have to start being parents again in the way our parents were no complaining and back talking tolerated. No playing with your food at the dinner table. No skipping church and buried in technology then silent when it’s time to pray because they don t know how. We have been anointed to lay down the laws of our home.

If you’re reading this, leave a comment below. What decisions have you/are you making to make sure your family is nourished?

Thanks for reading and remember to do all things in love

Love, Eve