Dealing with disappointment
This year I’m turning 30! It’s a milestone birthday so you know I have to do it BIG. These past few years I’ve tried to figure out what I want to do and my indecisive butt still doesn’t know how I’m going to celebrate it, but one thing that I do know is I want a G-wagon for my 30th birthday!
Well my birthday is in less than 3 months and I’m no more closer to affording a Benz truck than Jesus is to coming back to pick me up!
I feel like I’ve done everything in my power to increase my income, I feel like I’ve prayed, tithed, said it past the point of manifesting it, I can see it taste it smell it and even shopped for it so why does it feel like it’s not coming?
I know a lot can change in 3 months and I’m still working towards it so this is not to say that I’m not getting a G-Wagon this year but… we have got to stop with the checklists!
Thinking back on a conversation I had with my husband a few days ago when I told him I was ready for another child, I was kidding of course (we just had a baby last year) I just wanted to hear his response because it seems like it’s different every time.
So what was his response, you ask? Well first he brought up the fact that I had a lot on my to do list and didn’t have the ability to do it with child, but after I stated that I personally don’t believe that a baby would stop me from doing anything because it never has, his response changed to all the things he would like to do before we got pregnant again, things like becoming a homeowner.
He’s pushing mid 30’s and feeling all the “by this age you should have this this and that” but me, though I would love to be and will be a homeowner I’m just not in a rush to do so because of the financial responsibility that comes along with it. It’s something that we don’t agree on but of course I just follow his lead. After discussing the pros and cons of a mortgage vs. a lease I still wasn’t satisfied so I dug a little deeper
I raised the question “What difference does it make to a baby if we own or rent the house he’s born into?” wondering what would happen if the Lord blessed us with another child before he gave us the blessing to buy a house. How would that make him feel? Probably disappointed right?
But, why? Because we put ourselves on timelines and deadlines based on what society tells us our lives should look like.
I don’t care what comes first as long as when God takes me from this Earth I do have a home and other assets to leave my children but I also feel that having a child before buying a house isn’t a big deal. Im sure he feels the same about my need for a car that costs more than our house but that just brings me to my point:
We all have something that we’re putting on a time-sensitive list when we have learned over and over again that OUR TIME IS NOT GOD’S TIME! What the world says we should do when the world says that we should do it is not the same as God’s will for us (Isaiah 55:8)
What it is to you that’s so urgent? What are you tired of waiting for? For most of us it’s a financial break! For some it’s children, marriage, a promotion, a bigger and better (fill in the blank).
Sometimes I didn’t get what I prayed for because I rushed it or put a time frame on it as if God had to do it when I said so. Like if I don’t get a G-Wagon by the age of 30 it won’t still be a G-Wagon if it takes a few more years.
Please don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dreaming, wanting, or working towards anything. In fact, we should be doing those things! God has given us desires of our hearts because He wants us to have it as well and he’s already designed it (Psalms 37:3) but there are things we do to set ourselves up for failure, for example not trusting in Him, waiting patiently, and seeking the kingdom FIRST (Matthew 6:33)
I’m struggling with this but believe me I’m still trying to remove the expectations surrounding my big 30th birthday so that I won’t be disappointed if certain things don’t happen for me, but I’m thankful I can say there are a lot of areas in my life where I’ve learned to just count the many blessings and trust in God
My prayer for today is that we trust in Gods plan and Gods timing without letting the pressure of our peers, social expectations and feelings of inadequacy within ourselves stand in the way of us giving God praise for what he has already given us everyday, even while we wait on more blessings.
When you keep a grateful heart there’s no room to complain and when you’re not expecting anything there’s no room for disappointment
Stay blessed and remember to do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16:14)
Love, Eve
